Escalation

So, for the two people that still read, my mom and my sister, you will appreciate this.  If you are someone else, I guess I better give some background information.  Ever since I was little I have been a target.  Birds love me... well they love to poop on me that is.  If you are thinking that is gross, you are right.  I don't even know how many times I have been pooped on at this point, but it is a lot.  Someone tried to tell me it was good luck once.  I don't see how being an avian restroom is good luck by any stretch of the imagination.  Yesterday though the skies decided to up the anti, apparently I was missing something because I was hit by a squirrel.  Yup, that is right.  While I was enjoying the shade at the park a squirrel fell on me or jumped on me, I am not sure which.  Seriously, I might prefer the poop.  At least it didn't fall on the baby who I was holding at the time and hit my shoulder rolling off onto the ground.  I think it was stunned because it kind of laid there for a second before climbing a couple feet off the ground and trying to chew me out.  Like it was somehow my fault.  I am just hoping I don't have flees now or something.  So sick.  How does this happen?  I think I should just start carrying an umbrella everywhere I go from now on.  Consider this your warning, you may not want to stand too close to me when I am outside.